Gay Pride

How proud are you of your children?

by LandersUK ^Pro @ 2008-07-02 – 18:13:36

Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party. After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest
room. Those who remained talked about their kids.

The first guy said "My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday."

The second guy said "Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, and then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets. He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday"

The third man said "Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion."

The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked, "What are all the congratulations for?" One of the three said "We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. What about your son?"

The fourth man replied "My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub."

The three friends said "What a shame...what a disappointment!"

The fourth man replied "No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him. And he hasn't done too bad either. His birthday was two weeks ago,
and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends."
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Baffling

by soyunperdedor ^Pro @ 2008-06-26 – 19:07:13

I saw this on If-We-Ever's blog. I hope he doesn't mind me writing it here and linking to it.

This was banned because of the kiss at the end:

The mind actually boggles. It's not even a serious representation of gay couple! It's a joke!

IT'S MAYONNAISE!

Get a DAMN GRIP, world!
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Some old Queen and the Lesbians!

by LandersUK ^Pro @ 2008-06-24 – 19:00:35

I am ~~sick to death~~ frequently irritated at the common misconception of hearing people tell me lesbians don't exist.

The conversation went as follows... with a few bits cut out!

Me: Yeah, she's allowed her opinion but she shouldn't air it so verbally when she's a public figure who should be supporting equality.
Him: Well at least she can't mean lesbians.
Me: What?
Him: She can't have a go at lesbians?
Me: Why not?
Him: They don't exist.
Me: This is to do with Queen Victoria isn't it?
Him: Yeah.

In my head my next line was "You dumb fuck! You'll believe anything you're told!"* but what I actually said was "no she didn't. It's a popular misconception. An urban myth."

As soon as we got back I had to go for a little lie down.

There are two tales to this myth. One is that Queen Victoria refused to sign the criminal law act because she didn't believe that woman did that sort of thing with each other. The other story is that the politicians didn't know how to explain lesbianism to Vicky so just left it out the act.

Both of those stories are bollocks!

If she'd have refused to sign anything they'd have been a political uproar as the monarch had no powers to overrule parliament and as for de-lesbianising an act that would have been hiding something from the Monarch which is classed as high treason and would have resulted in the death penalty!**

The truth is that in the 70's a group of rug munchers got together to fight for equality and they happened to do it while stood by a statue of Victoria. You can blame ~~Juzzzy~~ the media for taking things out of context!

Now lets all agree that bean flickers do actually exist or there will be a few more bloggers who would only be in my imagination and that just isn't good! There is no debate over this. Lesbians exist!

If you want to debate anything then debate why lesbians have their own title yet gay men have to share. Women and men can be gay but only a woman can be a lesbian. Why?

*A bit like Scoobydoofus! - just ask him about Sharon McTwain!
**Before anyone starts on me the death penalty is totally gone. Treason is no longer a hang-able offence and hasn't been since 1998! Interestingly enough until 1971 you could be hanged for causing a fire in a naval dockyard!
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Not lung for this world!

by LandersUK ^Pro @ 2008-06-22 – 19:34:05

So Amy Winohouse has emphysema and only 70% lung capacity thanks to all the ciggies and crack. I'd like to feel sorry for her but I don't know if I can.
For someone who has such a unique voice and a vocal talent to make Sister Maria highly jealous in them there hills the stupid bitch has really gone and blown it this time. How, with under three quarters of normal lung capacity is she going to be able to belt out her infamous tunes?

As a person I've never had much time for her and think the publicity whore brings her troubles upon herself but I think her voice is spectacular and to see someone with this amount of talent waste it and thrown it away is awful.

She'll be gone before the year is out. I think. Either due to illness or an "accidental" overdose of Ledgerist proportions.

I hope I'm wrong.
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We still miss you! - Well I do anyway!

by LandersUK ^Pro @ 2008-06-22 – 18:46:23

It was 39 years ago today that the beloved Judy left us and boy do some of us fags (and non-fags) still miss her.

She wasn't the most beautiful girl in the world but there was something about her that inspired a generation to have short hair and big ear-rings, long before Pat Butchered came on the scene!

The first number I ever performed as a drag artiste was a Judy number and from that day on an abomination was born. I thank her for that even if thousands of others recoil in fear at the memories of Aunty Mandy.

Liza, Lorna and Joey have sadly failed to fill her boots but lets face it, who could?

Judy I salute you! I am a friend of Dorothy in all ways.
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Tell me something I don't know!

by LandersUK ^Pro @ 2008-06-17 – 10:17:28

So it looks like someone has finally "proved" that people are born gay and it's not something that one becomes!

Click HERE for the full story.

Now, if we could promote this so I can stop reading certain degrading and wrong things such as "you're only gay because you must have been fucked as a child by a pedophile!" The person he was refering too wasn't abused as a child, he just had a better brain!

But, I don't see how this is new information. Surely it has always been quite obvious that a gay male brain is akin to a female straight brain... we both like men! And yes, the research shows that a lesbian brain is the same a straight male brain - would that be because they both like the ladies?

And what's worse is that the tax pennies of some poor sap in Sweden is paying for this research!
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A lesson in English.

by LandersUK ^Pro @ 2008-05-17 – 14:15:18

I am ~~sick to death~~ frequently irritated at the common misconception of seeing and hearing people refer to other people as 'homophobic' when they don't actually mean it.

Homophobic does not mean that someone hates or dislikes or is scared of gay people.

Homophobia is not the right term to use for someone who might say "you fucking poof" or words to that effect.

A homophobe is none of these. Homophobia is not a hate crime.

Homophobia is a problem. For straight people and for some gay people.

Homophobia is a fear of being gay. Straight and gay people suffer from it and rather than labelling the unaccepting with this title we should help those who truly deserve it. Show straight people that gays are nothing to be scared of... unless you're Juzzzy and I'm in the room... and help gay people realise it's okay to be gay.

Now, can we stop this silly use of a very normal and useful word?

I think it's time I had a manicure and a lay down!
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Gay Rights and Wrongs

by LandersUK ^Pro @ 2008-05-17 – 09:12:47

As the summer season approaches... or appears like it might already be here and about to finish... the season of Pride marches is also due to begin.

I enjoy the spirit of Pride festivals and of course the fair grounds and stalls are always fun, seeing friends is great and not having to worry about holding hands in a bar is marvellous but sometimes the people who take part in these events take things a little bit too far.

The idea behind a Pride Festival is promote equality and gay rights but sadly some people decide that it's more about making gay people more important than others. This, obviously, is quite wrong. I'm all for gay rights and I'm all for equality but they idea of gay people being more equal than others is very very wrong - yet still some people want this to be the way of life!

I once heard a gay man on a pride march talk about how it would be great if we had a gay shopping centre and gay housing.

"If they ever do build either of those let me know where so I can avoid them!" I said.
"Oh my God, a straight person in a pride march, they get everywhere!" he said as he gave a very girlish and gleeful laugh with his friend.

I couldn't be bothered replying but my friend turned around and gave him a few choice words and pointed out how most shopping centres are aimed towards women and that should be good enough for gay men like him and if he wants gay housing he need only look at Dorothy Towers in Birmingham! They aren't really called Dorothy Towers, I forget their real names, but if you're a poof in Birmingham and you're looking for council accommodation then most of the time you'll end up in either one of two towers in the city centre. I'm quite sure one day there will be an "accident" just as a massive gay party is going on in and around these towers and the council will call it pest control.

So why is it that some gays want things more equal? Why can't gays just be happy with normal everyday equality? I appreciate that the majority of gays do just want equality and not the equality that makes us better than them but sadly it's the gays in the wrong that push forward to the TV cameras or the paps and scream "we're here, we're queer!" and demanding to be heard. These are the people who want homosexuals recognised as a whole individual race of people but thankfully theses are also the people who aren't intelligent enough to know what to do about it and leave it to... well to people like me... to go about it the right way!

Now you lot of hetties, go make me coffee and bring a bacon sandwich and whilre you're at it shine my shoes!
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My Designer Gene's

by LandersUK ^Pro @ 2008-04-21 – 13:15:06

So is there a gay gene?

Is a person pre-disposed to being gay? Conceived as a fag* in the womb but left dormant until puberty when it explodes a rainbow of emotion and fashion sense only fitting for those in same sex relationship.

Would this mean that if you could harness that gene you could turn a gay baby straight? Would it also mean that gene therapy could turn any homophobic gay-bashing straight man in to a nancy* that enjoys a bit of bum fun? One would certainly hope it made them more accpeting towards us queers* but where would erotica be for some gay man if there were no straight men to drool over or try and convert the long way (six beers apparently!)

If there is such a thing as a gay gene then surely they is a Politician Gene? What if Mr & Mrs Churchill had removed if from little Winston? Would gays, Jews and ginger people be a think of the past as the world filled blonde muscular shot-puters (and that's just the women!)

Personally I think there is a gay gene but the idea of having it removed now or at birth, or being cured, fills me with a dread I reserve only for visits from my father.

*Before you start having a go at me for using those terms please see my previous entry about how being gay is bad and my own personal blog!
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Joss Stone goes gay for pay!

by LandersUK ^Pro @ 2008-04-07 – 13:27:15

Joss Stone is apparently lined up to play a lesbian bingo caller in the British indie-film "Snapper."

Now as most viewers will know I'm all for equality so I'm not going to start belittling the idea of Ms. Stone munching down on some pour saps hairy clam but what I do have issue with is the idea of the Stoner being paid to act!

Because she can't.

Her crap American accent at the Brits surely would put any would-be director off using her in any film? Even if they do want her to be British and use her own gnarled vomit inducing gruffness! I'm sure she gargles with caustic soda!

“I just wanted to challenge myself," says the Medusa-haired faker, "There are things in the film that are going to really push the boundaries, and that excites me! I can also confirm there will be a long lingering French kiss, but it won't be with a male!”

No, really? It won't be with a man? You mean a lesbian kisses another woman? Well for the love of Mary Kate & Ashley what is the world coming to where lesbians kiss woman! I mean come on, it' s just not natural!

Next you'll be telling me a man can get pregnant!

Oh!
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